Fic: The Ring
Fandom: Kiralik Ask
Spoilers: Season 2, diverges after episode 56 (starts the morning after Omer picks up Defne and Pamir from the police station).
Rated: R for language and sexual situations. Don’t click the link if you’re under 18!
No copyright infringement intended!
It was frightening how easily they slipped back into their old dynamic, laughing together, chatting about whatever was on their minds throughout the afternoon. People assumed Omer was a quiet introvert but with her he was always open, engaged, a little playful, mischievous even. Defne had learned so much from him in the past and that still remained true as he spoke about the latest trends in design, his future plans for Passionis. It was only when he reached out to press a tender kiss on her forehead did she remember that today was just a fantasy. Immediately she pulled away from him, standing up to brush the soil from her gloves. “I think that’s enough flowers here. You don’t need any more on this side.”
His eyebrows linked together in annoyance. “We still have the yellow flowers to plant.”
“You can do it on your own.”
“So you’re not going to help me?”
She pursed her lips together. “I’ve been helping you for hours.”
He stood up, his dark gaze leveled at her. “Fine. It’ll be dusk soon anyway. Why don’t you go inside and clean up? I’ll take care of the stuff out here and get dinner ready.”
Defne had to remind herself to be on guard and not fall for the fantasy of domestic bliss he promised. “I’m not really hungry.”
“You were complaining about starving a few minutes ago.”
“Well, I’m not anymore,” she lied.
“Defne, don’t be ridiculous.”
“What? I’m not! I want to watch TV,” she babbled. “There’s this show I like to watch and I don’t want to miss it. So you can go ahead and eat without me. I’ll just grab something after.”
He stared back at her with a calm, placating expression which only served to annoy her more. “We can eat and watch at the same time.”
“You like eating at the dinner table. Don’t change your routine on account of me.”
“Nothing wrong with trying something new.”
Apparently nothing was going to distract him from whatever he had planned which meant she had to spend more time alone with him. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at the thought but she chastised herself for the reaction and stormed back inside to clean up.
Defne sat on one corner of the couch, keeping her eyes glued to the TV in front of her. She refused to look at Omer as he wandered back and forth into the room, setting the coffee table. He had prepared spaghetti and salad, and the meal looked so delicious she was practically drooling.
“Red or white?” he asked from the kitchen.
“I don’t care. Drink whatever you want.”
“Okay, red it is.” He brought two wine glasses into the room and set them on the table.
“I didn’t want any,” she reminded him.
“Just in case you change your mind.”
As he went to take a seat on the same couch as her, she cast him a suspicious glance.
“Relax,” he smiled. “I’m not going to sit on your lap. There’s plenty of space here for the both of us.”
She didn’t respond.
“What do you want to watch?”
“What?” she asked.
“You said you wanted to watch something. What is it?”
Defne blanked. She had lied to get out of eating dinner with him but here they were anyway and now her brain was scrambling to come up with something else. “My show isn’t on tonight. I was wrong about the day.”
“Okay.” There was a shadow of a smile on his face, like he was fully aware of her excuses. “Do you want to go back to the kitchen or should I put on a movie?”
“Movie. I’ll pick it.”
He handed the remote to her and she flipped through the channels, trying to pick the safest option available. The last thing she wanted was to watch some romantic drivel with Omer sitting right beside her and so she chose a crime drama that didn’t sound remotely interesting.
“You want to watch No Country for Old Men?” Omer asked, giving her a questing glance.
“I didn’t think that was your type of movie.”
“Why? Because you’re the only one who can be interested in a Coen brothers movie?” she fired back.
“Okay, okay. Let’s watch it.”
Over the next two hours they ate dinner in silence, even though there were many times Defne had to stop herself from turning to Omer to ask him a question about the plotline. It was a habit she had developed because he had a way of explaining things that made everything clear but she didn’t want to fall back into old patterns with him. All that did was confuse her mind.
Once the movie ended, Omer turned off the TV. “Did you like it?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s fine. Did you?”
“I thought it was really good.”
“Sure. The main character was a lot like you so that makes sense.”
“The one with the ugly haircut.”
Omer quirked his eyebrow. “Are you insulting my hair, Defne?”
“No, I said his character resembled you, not his looks.”
“He was an assassin.”
“A very disciplined, true to his word assassin. Ended up killing a woman even though he didn’t have to just because he had given his word he would. I’m sure you can relate to his moral code.”
Omer’s jaw clenched. “Just say what’s on your mind, Defne, instead of beating around the bush.”
She stood up and started clearing off the plates.
“Leave it. I’ll clean up,” he ordered.
“No, you made dinner. I should do this. Besides, you probably have to go to your office to work.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”
She looked up at him. “No. It’s your home. I don’t want to disrupt your routine more than I already have.”
He leaned back on the couch, his gaze piercing right through her. “Today was the first time this house felt like home. Because of you.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Don’t do this.” Turning around, she rushed to the kitchen sink and started washing the dishes.
“First you give me the silent treatment, then you try and provoke me into fights. Isn’t it easier to stop playing these games and just talk?”
Defne refused to look at him, instead concentrating on drying the dishes in front of her.
“What?” she snapped, turning around.
He was standing a few feet away, his dark eyes fixed on her. “We’ve already wasted so much time on nonsense. Don’t you think we should start discussing our future?”
“There is no future for us, Omer. What part of that don’t you get?”
“Are you saying you don’t love me anymore?” he fired back. Anger masked his face, determination evident in his features. “Because that’s all you need to do to get rid of me. Tell me you don’t love me and I’ll walk out of your life and never come back.”
She hated him – hated him – for his strength and sheer will. There was nothing he wasn’t sure about, no insecurity that troubled him. He was absolutely convinced of her love, and he was right about that. She did love him, even though she wished she didn’t. “Love has nothing to do with this.”
“It has everything to do with it. Instead of running away from your feelings, why don’t you fight for us?”
Flabbergasted, she stared back at him. “Are you serious? You’re telling me to fight for us? Do you have any idea how often I did that? The lengths I had to go to make our relationship work?” A bitter laugh escaped her lungs, she shook her head. “You are so completely oblivious about how good you have it, aren’t you? You have no idea what it’s like to have people tell you over and over again you’re not good enough-”
“Seriously, Defne? Are you really going to stand there and tell me I’ve never faced any hardships in my life?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. You lost your parents young, I know that. You faced difficulties, but you’ve never had to struggle with people’s opinions of you. Everyone always bends over backwards to be in your good graces. No one ever looks down on you, or thinks badly of you. ”
“Because I don’t care what others think.”
“Yeah, because you’re privileged enough to be in a position where it doesn’t matter. You have the luxury of ignoring people you don’t like, they don’t impact you in any way, but not all of us were fortunate enough to do that. Not everyone can live their life according to black and white rules like you have. Some people, even good, decent people, have to make bad choices because they find themselves in circumstances beyond their control. It’s easy to sit back and judge others for lacking strength of character when you’ve never had to worry if making the ethical choice would harm the people you love.”
“You’re talking about the deal you made with my aunt.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m not. I’m just speaking generally. You’re very judgemental, you think you know everything and if someone doesn’t live according to your standards you completely dismiss them. I saw you doing it over and over again but I still managed to convince myself it would be different with me but obviously I was wrong. I’m a coward in your eyes because you think I’ve given up, but it’s a choice I’ve had to make to protect myself. I fought for you, I fought so hard for you.” Her voice cracked despite her efforts to remain calm. “I had to constantly battle your aunt. Every step of the way she was on my back, forcing me to do things. And whenever I stepped out of line there she was, reminding me the only reason you even looked at me twice was because of her, that you didn’t love the real me, just the version she created. And it wasn’t just her, it was the whole world telling me I wasn’t good enough for you, that someone as great as Omer Iplikci could never love a woman like me.”
He started walking towards her, reaching out to comfort her but she snapped his hand away. “How dare you tell me I didn’t fight?” Her lips pursed together, tears streaming down her face. “If it wasn’t your aunt then it was Sude or Tramba or even your precious Fikret. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have so many people actively trying to take you down when all you want from life is a little bit of happiness? I did everything in my power to overcome them and hold on to you. At times I felt like I was suffocating, like I couldn’t even breathe but then you’d smile at me and I would somehow find the strength to go on. Of course we know how that ended.” She swiped the tears from her cheeks. “It’s easy to feel superior and judgemental when you’re on top, when even your enemies are in awe of you, but it’s not easy for the rest of us. So we make mistakes, we do things we shouldn’t do, make wrong choices, and then we try to live with the outcome from those bad decisions.”
“I shouldn’t have left, I know that. I should have given you a chance to explain-”
“Bullshit,” she interjected. “You’re not a man who regrets his choices, especially when you hold the moral high ground. I lied to you over and over again. Nothing justifies that in your book. So please don’t tell me how sorry you are because you don’t really believe that deep down.”
“That’s unfair, Defne.”
“So is life, which is why some of us do horrible things.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “You’ve never had to fight for something you truly want, you have no idea how difficult life can be when the odds are stacked against you. For your sake, I hope you’re never put in that position.”
She started to walk past him but he blocked her path, forcing her to face him.
“I’m not giving up on us,” he said with full conviction.
“There is no us, Omer. I don’t want to be a part of your world, not anymore. I let myself buy into that fantasy once and it tore me apart. I’m not making that mistake again.”
“Then I’ll be a part of yours.”
She gave him a sad smile. “You lost that right a long time ago.” Before he could get in her way again, she sidestepped past him and walked away.
To be continued…