Title: Alive [Chapter Ten]
Summary: Sage Alvi’s whole world turned upside-down when she lost her mother to cancer. Now forced to live with a father she never knew, she’s trying to navigate her way through a new home, city and school. To make things worse, her half-siblings hate her and she’s being bullied by the cool crowd.
They say high school is hard, but this is just ridiculous.
I know that some of my readers are observing Ramadan during this month. This chapter has some sexually explicit material so please be aware of that if you choose to click the link.
Ending the call, Sage walked to the door and opened it. The sharp chill of the cold air struck her skin but it paled in comparison to the warmth that surged through her once Aidan met her gaze. Holding her stare, he swaggered over until he stood directly in front of her with only a few inches separating them. Her heart pounded in her chest, with such fierceness at one point she worried it was going to jump out of her body.
“Hi,” he murmured, his eyes appearing more hazel than green under the light that streamed from her room.
“I brought you dinner. I wasn’t sure if you were hungry.”
She hadn’t even noticed the takeout bag in his hands until he mentioned it. “Thanks.”
He offered a lazy, slow-as-molasses smile in response, reminding her why so many girls in school were nuts over him.
“Don’t thank me yet. The burger’s probably cold as ice now.”
“Yeah, but it’s the thought that counts.”
Aidan didn’t touch her but she was keenly aware of his close proximity, the way his golden gaze roved over her face, and how she only had to move her fingers ever so slightly to brush his skin.
“Has anyone ever told you how ridiculous you look when you’ve been bawling your eyes out?”
She returned his smile. “Yeah, this one guy. I killed him right after.”
“No big loss. He was a jerk.”
“Not like me, right?”
A sharp breath escaped her lungs when Aidan stroked her cheeks, first right then left, caressing her tears away. Transfixed by him, she trembled as he slid his hand down her arm and gently held her wounded hand in his own.
“When I’m with you, I feel safe,” he said with an uncharacteristic earnestness which touched something deep inside of her. “Like no matter what happens, I’ll be okay as long as you’re with me.”
Sage didn’t know what to say.
“That’s not normal, right?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
“Do you feel the same way about me?”
Feeling panicked all of a sudden, she remained silent while her brain scurried to find the appropriate response. In an effort to distract herself from his scrutinising gaze, she settled her attention on their intertwined fingers. Their physical connection, the protective way he squeezed her hand seemed to magically soothe her frayed nerves.
The truth was she felt wild and reckless around him. Always excited, never numb. From the very beginning he had provoked her temper and forced her to engage when all she’d wanted was to fade into the background. “No, you don’t make me feel safe.” It wasn’t until he tried to pull away, his eyes flashing with hurt, did it register how the words must have hurt him. Covering their joined hands with her palm, she clung to him. “Aidan, what I meant was…” Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, her chest tightened with anxiety. She took a deep breath before looking up at him. “When I’m with you, I feel like I’m about to jump off a cliff any second, like I’m high on adrenaline all the time or something. My heart won’t stop racing. Does that make sense?”
The veil of pain lifted from his face, and he graced her with a small, teasing smile. “No, not really. But nothing makes sense around you so I’m used to it.” He rested his forehead against hers. “Can I come in now? I’m freezing.”
She gripped his jacket and pulled him inside.
Something unexpected rippled through Sage, a need so fierce and primal she was desperate to lose herself in Aidan completely. Throwing aside the take-out bag he was holding, she closed her mouth over his, kissing him, devouring him, pushing him against the door and grinding her body against his while he groaned in response, grabbing the back of her hair in a firm grip. Her body throbbed with a potent ache, her brain screamed for oxygen, but she didn’t care, couldn’t care, because the only sensation that mattered, that she could process, was the demanding thrust of his tongue inside her.
They didn’t move in sync, not like they did in movies, instead there was a constant push and pull between them. Elbow against chest, teeth against tongue, neither gentle nor tender, just a fierce necessity to possess the other.
While she reached underneath his t-shirt to roam her hands across his skin, he groped her ass and pulled her towards him with a hold so tight she almost lost her breath.
Being with him was unlike anything she’d experienced before, a kind of euphoria she’d heard about but never believed in – until now. Senses heightened, heart racing, she was keenly aware of every single spot his body was in contact with hers. Especially the feel of his erection against her stomach.
Clasping the back of his head with her damaged hand, she used the other to stroke down his chest until stopping just above the zipper on his jeans. Her fingernails raked over the fabric, teasing him.
He tore his mouth away, growling in frustration. “Fuck!”
Panting for air, eyes glazed with desire, his gaze remained fixated on her. As if daring her to continue. Sage started to unzip him when his hand suddenly covered her own, forcing her to stop.
“Don’t,” he ordered breathlessly.
Leaning his head back, he glanced up at the ceiling and closed his eyes. “Just don’t think this is a good idea right now.”
She smirked. “Who cares if it’s not?” She moved her fingers over his zipper again, but this time Aidan forcibly gripped her shoulders and angled her away.
“Stop. You don’t have to do this.”
“Ah, but I think I have to. You bought me dinner, and the rules say I’m supposed to thank you by putting out.” Flashing an eager smile, she pressed up against him. “Did you bring condoms with you?”
The acerbic bite in his tone snapped her out of her happy bubble, and she finally removed her hands from his body. Why did he have to ruin this for her? All she wanted was to escape the loneliness, maybe even replace the horrible memories from today with something more pleasant, but Aidan obviously wasn’t in the mood to co-operate. She wondered if this was a game to him. That maybe he enjoyed the chase but the moment she was ready to give in, he was no longer interested. “What the hell is wrong with you?” He didn’t respond, instead watching her, unmoving, with an intensity that unnerved her. “Stop staring at me like that!” she snapped.
“So you’re fine with me fucking you but not looking at you?”
“Why are you making this so hard?”
“Why? Because I don’t want to be some random dude you fuck just because you’re having a bad day!” he yelled, barely able to contain the anger in his voice. “It’s not me you want right now, anyone would do. Anyone. You know how that makes me feel?”
Stunned by his words, she remained frozen in place. Did he really think she was just using him? How could he not realize how important this was? It’s not like she went around throwing herself at just anyone! Before Aidan, there had been only one guy she’d dated – briefly – and the one time they’d come close to having sex, her mom had come home early, turning the night into one of the most embarrassing moments in Sage’s life. After that she hadn’t been eager to repeat the experience, until tonight. “I thought that you wanted this, that maybe you liked me?”
“You’re kidding me, right?”
What the hell was that supposed to mean? Confused, and a little embarrassed, she turned her back to him. With her palm she tried to swipe the taste of him from her swollen lips but it was pointless; his touch seemed to be permanently imprinted on her, reminding her of how much she wanted him. Desperate to put some distance between them, she walked over to the bed and took a seat in the farthest corner away from him. “I think you should go.”
“No. I’m not going anywhere.”
Sage watched with caution as he approached her, the usual swagger missing from his step.
“Look, I get it.” Tone ridden with hesitancy, he sat down beside her. “You’ve been through hell today, and yeah, sex is a great distraction. It can make you forget bad shit for a while, but those problems always come back. Trust me on that. I’ve done a lot of stupid things I regret.” His gaze dropped to her hands and he shrugged his shoulders, trying very hard to feign a casual demeanor. “And I don’t want to be a mistake to you, Sage.”
She slipped her hand in between his, stroking his skin with her thumb.
Aidan’s honey-coloured gaze travelled up her arm and to her face, delicious and languid in its heat, spreading warmth through her entire body and filling her with the same frenzy from moments ago. Swallowing audibly, she willed herself to fight through the ecstasy that flooded over her. As much as she wanted to sleep with him, now wasn’t the time. Of course her resolve waned considerably when he shifted closer, dropping a tender kiss before resting his chin on her shoulder. His soft breath tickled her cheek when he spoke next, making her smile and shudder at the same time.
“Can I stay here tonight?”
“Yeah,” she murmured.
His eyes twinkled with mischief once again, easing some of the tension between them. “And you’re not going to try to seduce me during the night?”
She burst out laughing. “I’m not making any promises.”
“Good. I like to live dangerously.”
A tender smile shaped her lips, she bumped into him affectionately. “Aidan?”
“Sage?” he mimicked her voice.
“You know what I think?”
“No. Tell me what you think.”
She fixed her stare at him, studying the complex pool of hazel and green in his eyes which brimmed with affection for her. “I think I really, really like you, when you’re not being an asshole.”
“Bet you like me even more when I am,” he declared cockily.
She shook her head ‘no’ but he wasn’t buying it, grinning at her instead, until she gave into his contagious charm. “You can pretend to be a jackass as much as you want, Aidan, but you’re a softie inside. A total sap. Can’t convince me otherwise.”
He raised her hand to his lips, leaving a silken kiss on her.
“Next thing I know you’re gonna start calling me Prince Charming.”
“Nah, you’re not that pretty.”
“Liar.” The smile on his face curved into a smirk. “I’m very pretty. Maybe even prettier than you.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “You need the good looks more than I do.”
“Why is that?”
“’cause you don’t have anything else going for you.”
“Ouch!” he yelped.
She couldn’t stop giggling at his fake pout, laughing even harder as he started to tickle her. “Stop it, Aidan!” she squealed.
“Not until you say you’re sorry.”
“Keep dreaming, jackass!”
His playful assault went on until she reluctantly gave in. “Fine, fine, I’m sorry!” she screamed. Finally he stopped, instead hovering over her on the bed now while she caught her breath. They didn’t say anything for a long while, just observing each other. She weaved her fingers through the soft strands of his hair, tucking in the longer ones behind his ear. “Thanks.”
Aidan lay his head on the pillow beside her, throwing one of his arms over her chest in a protective embrace.
“For checking up on me, calling me, being here. Everything, I guess.”
“You’d do the same for me. You have, even when I was a dick.”
She shifted her attention from Aidan to the ceiling above. Remembering how badly Thomas had disappointed her earlier, a heavy sigh escaped her lips. “It really hit me tonight that my mom’s gone. Forever. I’m never going to see her again. And Thomas, well… he’s a stranger.”
Aidan didn’t speak nor offer any false comfort while she vented her frustrations. He simply listened, which she appreciated.
“Tell me about her,” he said after a while.
“My mom? Why?”
“I don’t know. She sounds awesome,” he said, almost shyly. “And maybe I’m hoping talking about her will distract you enough so you won’t notice when I cop a feel.”
“Says the guy who wouldn’t give in when I was trying to seduce him.”
“Yeah, I know. What the fuck was I thinking?” he sighed.
“You lost your chance, buddy.”
Leaning in closer, he grazed her lips ever so gently. Her heart fluttered in her chest as he lingered near her, his breath humming against her skin. A part of her hoped he would make a move again, but she had to settle for an Eskimo kiss instead.
“So tell me about the time your mom caught you making out with a chick at a slumber party,” he said.
“That never happened.”
“Yeah well, let’s pretend it did. Give me the details, and make it sexy.”
Rolling her eyes at his incorrigible smile, she looped her arms around him and started sharing some of her memories – the real ones.
Later that night she was at the brink of sleep when Aidan’s tongue traced the shell of her ear, waking her up instantly. “Hey, are you asleep?” Aidan murmured in her ear.
“No, not really.”
“Because you keep talking and waking me up,” she retorted.
Sage smiled into the pillow, shivering internally as his breath hummed against the back of her neck. With his body snuggling her from behind and arm thrown over her waist, they were locked in an intimate embrace, leaving her keenly aware of every part of him that was in contact with her. Once again she scooted towards him, and a frustrated groan escaped his mouth.
“Stop doing that,” he bit out.
“You know what!”
She turned around to face him, catching him by surprise. Although dark, there was enough light scattering into the room from outside, casting intermittent shadows across his face. He appeared almost distressed, caught between heaven and hell, making her wonder what he would look like when he did lose complete control. Leaning closer, she smoothed her fingers over his bottom lip with a slow, languid touch, caressing him in the way she’d always wanted.
His body turned rigid with tension, his voice hoarse. “You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?”
She didn’t respond, breathing in the subtle scent of him. They simply watched each other, her hands lingering on his lips, his on the curve of her waist. There was something astonishingly beautiful about him that had nothing to do with his looks. Not that he wasn’t hot, he was, but what she liked was his inner sweetness and vulnerability, that he was able to be open and trusting despite the horrific circumstances which he struggled with every day – something she was incapable of herself. His gestures were thoughtful in a way that was unexpected, like bringing her dinner tonight and cleaning up after they were done eating, or reaching out to her when she needed him even though he had every reason to still be angry at her.
Suddenly he closed his mouth over her fingers, sucking the digits, his tongue caressing her in a sensuous manner she never experienced before. Her heart started racing in her chest, beating so loudly she wondered if he could hear it. Their eyes were locked on each other, legs tangled together, making this moment between them even more intense. Instinctively her hips swayed closer to him as he continued to tease her with his tongue. Something crazy was slowly being unleashed within her, the strange feeling frightening in its wildness. Every nerve in her body was heightened and inexplicably aware of his mouth on her, aching for more. “Aidan?”
He stilled, his eyes boring into her. “Yeah?”
Unsure of what to say, she remained silent. He’d already turned her down earlier, and she felt too insecure to ask him again.
“What do you want, Sage?”
Her eyes dropped to his lips. “I don’t know.”
Settling his body partially on top of her, he nestled his face in the hollow crook of her neck. His tongue and teeth nipped at her skin, sucking on her gently. Feeling overwhelmed by the tumultuous emotions, she closed her eyes. Her breaths came out in shallow spurts, becoming more labored as his hand roved slowly over her right breast. The t-shirt she was wearing did nothing to protect her from the heat of his touch, instead causing more friction when he caught her nipple between his fingers, rubbing it gently, tweaking it until it became a hardened nub in his grip. Her hips arched up, and she wrapped her legs around his thighs.
He’d been hard for a while but now she felt his erection digging into her thighs, straining for release.
“I think about you when I jerk off. How you look naked, if your nipples are pink, or brown, small or big,” he murmured. “What you taste like.”
She kept her eyes shut, blushing at the stark sexuality of his words even as her body writhed under him.
“I think about your tits.” Aidan pulled her t-shirt up, exposing her breasts, the cool air a welcome respite from the warmth that was quickly spreading over her. He didn’t speak for several minutes, making her wonder if he was disappointed with her body in reality; if that was the case, she couldn’t bear to look at him.
“Your beautiful, fucking tits.” He licked the skin between her breasts. “Perfect.” He flicked his tongue over her, lavishing her nipples with attention, and she cried out with pleasure, digging her fingers into his scalp.
“I think about being inside you.”
His hands caressed down her body, and she almost jumped up when his fingers stroked her intimately over her panties. White-hot desire coursed through her, rushing to the very sensitive spot he was now teasing.
“How good your pussy would feel…” He slipped his fingers past the fabric and teased her folds gently, as if testing her. “Warm… soft… wet.” His voice was deep and velvety in her ears, melting her insides into hot liquid.
“Aidan!” she moaned when he slid his fingers inside her slick wetness, first the index followed by the middle, stroking her, taunting her, curving into her while his thumb flicked over her clit.
“You feel so fucking good,” he said almost reverently, nipping her chin. “Open your eyes, Sage,” he urged, the raw urgency in his tone matching the pressure that was quickly building inside her. “I want you to look at me when you come.”
Although it was more difficult than she’d anticipated, she forced herself to hold his gaze, taking in the pure hunger in his glazed eyes as her hips rocked against his fingers. She had never felt this excited before, a kind of potent arousal that demanded to be fulfilled. It was foreign to her, and almost frightening, but she found herself comforted by the gentleness in Aidan’s eyes. She wasn’t the only one going through this journey, he was there beside her, protecting her, guiding her as she discovered this new side of herself.
A man possessed, he sped up his rhythm, still watching her with a piercing stare. “I fantasize about your mouth on my cock, what you’d look like when you’re sucking me off.”
A heated blush spread across her cheeks.
“Would you do that for me, Sage?” A nervous expression crossed his features, revealing some of his inner turmoil. “Maybe once? If you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again…”
She may not have been all that experienced but Sage knew damn well it wasn’t easy for any guy, let alone Aidan if his reputation was even slightly accurate, to offer an out when it came to blow jobs. The fact that he cared enough to do so touched her deeply, probably even more than any other romantic gesture he could have made. She cradled his face in her hands and gazed into his eyes. “I’ll suck you off, Aidan. I promise.” Stunned by her boldness, he paused, and her body protested in response. “Don’t stop,” she urged.
He started working her again, and she was soon caught up in pleasure, gyrating against his touch.
The frustration in his voice cut through the haze she was in, and with some awkward maneuvering she reached below to unzip his jeans. Wrapping her undamaged hand around his slick cock, she started to pump him slowly while he continued to thrust his fingers inside her.
When the first ripple of an orgasm struck, it left her breathless with the sheer force of it. This was an entirely new sensation for her, one that rocked her entire universe, and she was lost, overcome by it all as the waves of pleasure crashed over her. She barely even noticed when he came in her hand seconds later.
Eyes closed, body fluid and boneless with exhilaration, she slowly returned to reality. Until his lips grazed hers, probing the contours of her mouth gently with his tongue, and she was captivated by him all over again.
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A/N – Thank you to all those reading, especially those wonderful people who have taken the time to share their feedback. Whether it’s through comments here or via Facebook messages, I truly appreciate the wonderful support you guys have given me.